


Batter Up!

by sanguinarysucrose



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Fake AH Crew, Gore, Goretober 2018, Immortal Fake AH Crew, M/M, Razors, Slurs, Wire - Freeform, micheoff? sort of?, this is literally just personal indulgence please dont @ me lmao, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 16:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16162748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguinarysucrose/pseuds/sanguinarysucrose
Summary: Day 1 of some Goretober Writing: Barbed Wire.Michael typically has to be careful in interrogations. He relies on his forceful voice and general roughness to get rival gang members to talk but he is always mindful to keep them alive. However, with a particularly unremarkable captive in their possession and a new bat for Michael to play with, Geoff gives the go-ahead to let Michael have some more fun.





	Batter Up!

When I said I was going to get my bat, the rogue gang member lost his mind in hooting hollering laughter. To his credit, he was a larger man. Even Jack and Ryan had struggled to tie the fucker down. Normally I would have grimaced at the thought of being laughed at by some petty Los Santos biker gang grunt, but today was a special day. It was rare that Geoff let me interrogate someone and didn’t mind if they died. And today when I pleaded to try my new bat, Geoff only chuckled, twirled mustache a couple times and said, “fuck it, at least try to get something out of him first.” Even if he didn’t say it, Geoff and I both knew that leaving this guy’s corpse out for the rest of city’s underground to see would be more useful than anything this low-level biker bitch could offer. 

“What are you going to do? Club me until I pass out? What do you get out of that? You fuckers think you’re immortal, think you’re gods! Bet you still swing like a sissy f*ggot!” He called out from the interrogation room. I couldn’t care less whatever bullshit he wanted to shout at me. I was enraptured in the cool feel of the bat’s black handle in my hand; the act of simply letting the weight of it swing back and forth bringing back a rush of memories.

Previously the bat’s end had been wrapped up in barbed wire, the kind of shit that hooked into the flesh and refused to let go until you yanked it. Even then you were likely to uproot some chunks with that motion alone. It was a mutilation machine plain and simple, no ammunition required. Plain simple fun to swing into the cops who stood like a deer in headlights when their bullets didn’t kill us. And certainly, plenty of meat pulled out into bite-sized pieces. I could feel a droplet of drool that almost escaped the corner of my lips and snapped back into reality. The bat I now held was a combination of Geoff’s connections and my infatuation for a simple and efficient melee weapon as the end was wrapped not with barbed wire but Concertina wire. Geoff had it recommended to him, and I fell in love with it the second he revealed it to me. It was a brand of razor wire, military-grade security shit with the potential to make clean bone-deep cuts paired with my bat. And now The Kingpin himself granted me clearance to use my new toy freely. 

“Alright funny guy. You’ve been talking a lot of shit for someone who’s about to get fucking eviscerated.” As soon as I re-entered the room I could see all that snarky joy fade from his expression. 

“So none of your biker friends told you? I used to use this puppy all the time, but lucky for you. I just got an upgrade.” I gave the bat a slight drag against the concrete floor for effect, letting some of the razors screech and scrape against the ground. “Wanna talk now you fuckin’ prick?” 

Geoff entered the room just as the man tried to babble out some flabbergasted excuse, perhaps a half-assed apology that fumbled into nonsense once it reached his trembling lips. 

“Well Michael, I don’t think he’s in the mood to talk. I think you know what to do!” 

I took my first swing. I aimed for somewhere nonfatal first, his right shoulder to be exact. He was able to brace for the impact but all it did was allow for some of the razors burrow into both the flesh around his shoulder and around his upper back behind it. I let the blow land, keep the razors stuck deep into the grunt’s arm. I took this time to be both sadistic and curious, investigating the effectiveness of my newly upgraded toy with a few twists and gentle pulls. And while the man screamed bloody murder, I found it fascinating to feel the almost immediate contraction of muscles against the blades, evidenced by the resistance I felt when I gave the bat a tug. Barbed wire was nasty, but this stuff cut so easily even the body’s own attempts to clamp down on the lustrous blades only rooted them further. The polished edges were a work of barbarous genius, sharp enough to glide through tendons and sinew like butter but catch and lock in place like a hook through a fish’s gullet. I couldn’t help a wry smile at the other’s frantic shouts, looking to Geoff with stars in my eyes.

He simply smiled back, propped up against a wall in leisurely amusement. “Only the best for my boys. You can thank me later.” 

My attention darted back to the man as I moved on to the next phase of my experiment. I looked the biker in the eyes, saying a low voice, “you really shouldn’t have called me a f*ggot,” before I tore the razor wrapped bat from the flesh it was embedded in, sending a spray of blood and deracinated flesh. The man hollered, a scream that did not live up to the hypermasculine front the guy put on. Almost laughable given how quick he was to mock the Fakes about their less than heterosexual activities. 

By then my eyes were alight with the thrill of the kill, wide with a sadistic high that had to be repeated again and again. I had to have more of this man’s pain I had to see more of his meat soar into the air by my lovely bat. I laid into the man’s arms and thighs, quick swings in rapid succession that dug around the same wounds deeper and deeper, uprooting more and more meat chunks deeper into muscle groups and threatening to expose bone; keeping the poor biker bitch wailing at the top of his lungs while I wailed on him. The man was thrashed with all the wild savage energy I had, my thirst for hurt reaching near impossible levels to satisfy. Even after all of that, I needed a final escalation, But much to my disappointment, he was starting to faint from the intensity of it all. However, I wasn’t disappointed for very long.  
“Bust this bitch open like a fire hydrant, Michael!" Without warning, Geoff had the man by the hair in one hand, jaw tilted up with the other to expose the jugular. And while I did have a momentary concern of hitting Geoff’s hands, at least those would regenerate. I gave my best wind up and slammed the end of the bat right into the biker’s throat, the razor wire shielding burrowing deep before violently peeling open the man’s windpipe.

And boy did the shit spew. 

It made me want to go get Gavin to show him what popping a hydrant looked like, but I was so lost to the bloodlust that I didn’t dare pull myself away from the scene. A near cartoonish thick spray of scarlet was released from the amount of blood that rushed out of the fatal gash at such a high velocity. Meanwhile, big hunks of throat flesh rained down to the ground at the same speed, bouncing off the walls and leaving their own fresh blood splatters. By the end of the show-stopping home run of a swing, the man’s larynx was completely exposed save for a few flaps of skin that narrowly avoided the path the razors took. Even those didn’t last as I watched the kingpin bring his mouth down to the bits of flesh, stripping them off the exposed voice box. For a moment I hesitated. Perhaps there ought to be a feeding order, maybe it was best to let the alpha finish first, but very quickly I was beckoned over by a sort of head jerk gesture. 

I approached eagerly lapping up the copious amounts of blood spilling out of the neck wound. My eyes fluttered at the strong irony taste and warmth of the fresh cut, pulling up meat with my canines and greedily wolfing it down. Eventually, my face and Geoff’s drifted closer until his attention was obviously more on me than the grunt I’d just killed. He caught a few dribbles of blood at my chin licking up it until our lips met and exchanged blood saturated saliva in a deep, somewhat rough kiss. Now his hands were on me, grooming through my hair or feeling up and down my chest as he pulled away from my lips to practically breathe into my ear.

“Did my guard dog like his new toy?” 

If his kiss hadn’t left me breathless already, the rough kiss to my neck after he spoke did prompting a moaned, “yes… yes of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> I may??? Continue this but I'm honestly so bad at The Sexy (tm) so it would depend on interest in a continuation.))


End file.
